Assalamualaikum wbt.
If We had sent down this Qur'an upon a mountain, you would have seen it humbled and coming apart from fear of Allah . And these examples We present to the people that perhaps they will give thought. [Quran, 59:21]
I spent the last winter holiday in Spain. A place I never thought I would go at some point in my life. But it all started with a niat - to find God, Allah. My history about Islam sucks. And I didn't know much about Islamic civilization there, to be specific. But all praise to Him, I found something.
My memories in Spain have got a lot of things to do with how Islam has conquered the West and then the West reconquered the place. Everywhere I went, I see Islamic architecture that have been reconquered. The most intense was when I went to Cordoba, the infamous mosque to us, the Church to the Christian
What impacted me the most is the fact that not everything has changed. They left it the way it looked - like a mosque.
And everything went on like that.
We travelled mostly by bus. From cities to cities. We went from North to South - the Souther the warmer. You know what I saw? I saw desert and mountain rock on my left and right. And nothing else. They all look so arid, so dry, that your eyes get sore when you stare at them. The mountain rock as it is. Hard, stony, without sand, without grasses nor trees. Just rock. And I wonder if the rain pours from above how slippery it would be. Because it absorbs nothing. And everything that just pours will just flow. It would make no change to the mountain.
But just look at the verses from the Surah Al-Hashr. Allah says that had He sent the Quran to a mountain, we would see it humbled and coming apart from fear of Allah.
When I saw the mountain at the first place, I knew that there's a Quranic verses that tells us things like this. But I'm not sure what is the specific thing. All I can reflect till this day is, how hard my heart is.
You know what? I can just listen to Quranic verses with the translation, and keep procrastinating to practise all the commands from our Lord. And I always knew it. But I always do.
It strikes me at heart, at the centre, that the mountain that is million times looks harder has a softer heart that mine. The mountain is tall, hard, looks notorious, couldn't absorb anything, couldn't be influenced by wind or water, yet it would CRASH if Quran we to be sent down to it. Subhanallah. Astaghfirullahalazim.
And what happen when Quran is sent to me? Quran is read? Quran is recited? Had I not fear? I do. But did I do anything? I hardly did.
Why is that my heart so hard? Why is that I could hardly cry? Why is that I could hardly send my forehead down to the ground and thank Him and ask for His direction?
And I'm so arrogant that I couldn't even do dzikir in my silence. And I'm so pretendance as if I'm so ignorant. My soul is so wicked that it always refuse. I don't want to belong to the Munafikun. Not a single chance. But my sin doesn't weight an atom. They are tonnes. I seek forgiveness from You Ya Allah. Indeed, You are my Lord, Most Benificent the Most Merciful. Thanks for giving me another day to live. Had I die yesterday, I would have died a sinner.
